Dispelling the Urban Legend that surrounds the Australian Dropbear

Copyright 2002 Ashley Gittins

It is a disturbing trend, but many people seem to take great pleasure in
spreading fear and mis-information. Sadly, the Australian Dropbear is another
victim of this type of treatment. For many years, visitors to Australia have
been warned of this almost mythical sounding creature which stalks the forest
canopy, waiting for a meal to pass by below. Whilst wide-eyed newcomers are
listening intently to this new information, the informant-turned-storyteller
may stoop to embelishment. This is unacceptable, as the threat posed to
humans by the Dropbear is very real, and should be treated with the utmost
seriousness.

I think it's safe to say that most people understand that Aussie's love
a good yarn. Indeed, competitions for the telling of tall stories
are held at many folk and music festivals around the country. While I think
that these in themselves are a great thing, perhaps we should be wary of how
we allow our storytelling to alter what in effect should be public service
announcements. Some of the un-truths I have heard about the Australian
Dropbear include:

The Wrestler

This embellishment claims that the Dropbear resulted from a chance mating
between a native Koala and a Pro Wrestler in the mid to late 1970's. Please!
This type of rubbish only serves to dilute the credibility of the Dropbear
threat. Goodness knows we have enough trouble with the Government in our
Country doing everything they can to conceal the Dropbear's very existence
without resorting to blatant jests
(look how well they did at hiding the fact that Tasmania has Tigers roaming
freely about). It is well understood that the dropbear has evolved over
thousands of years. It's diminutive cousin the Koala was more often found in
dryer areas of Australia where it's herbivorous lifestyle was a natural
adaptation to scarce food supplies. Conversely, Dropbear prides were more
common in sub-tropical forests, where larger mammals (a primary food source)
were more prevelant. The population density along coastal areas accounts for
the less than comfortable relationship shared over the years by humans and
Dropbears. Due to habitat destruction, many Dropbear prides have divided over
the years, some of which head further inland in search of more plentiful
food sources, and safer environments in which to raise cubs. This in turn has
displaced some koala populations. This in fact serves to provide the
Australian government with a convenient cover story. They (and others) claim
that coastal Koala habitats are being destroyed, thereby lowering the count
of koala's typically seen around urban Australia. This is a fallacy, as
koala's never inhabited coastal areas in any great numbers due to the
Dropbear not being particularly concerned with matters of ettiquette regarding
feeding on relatives. However, since many tourists tend to be dissapointed
that they do not see a koala in every eucalytpus tree, the government perpetuates
this story of an endagered species in a shrinking habitat. As horrible as it is,
it sounds a lot better than saying "Oh, those cuddly things? Yeah, the dropbears
ate them all".

German Helmet

A particularly amusing anectdote sometimes linked with Dropbear's is that the
german infantry helmets were designed with a spike on the top in order to protect
the wearer's from dropbears as they fell from the trees to gouge their throats.
Obviously, this story would be a little more credible if the German's had ever
actually invaded Australia, but they did not.

There is an interesting adjunct to the military story though. It is not
widely known, but during WW-II, the Japanese did in fact land on the northern
Australia coast. However, very little combat ensued, as the Japanese were ill
prepared for an Australian land invasion. While a number of their forces would
have been claimed to snake bites, crocodile attacks and tropical diseases carried
by our impressive army of mosquitoes, it is generally beleived that the vast
majority of the Japanese forces were defeated by our very own Dropbears, before
they even saw Australian troops. Of course, the government (and tourism agencies)
deny this, and in fact have made it generally unknown that the Japanese ever
invaded Australian soil.

Back to the helmets though, this may explain the stereotypical image of the
bikie gang-member donning a German helmet. Bikie gangs are a nature loving group
of individuals, so naturally spend a fair amount of time riding the winding
roads that criss-cross much of Australia's forestry areas. Perhaps there is some
credence to the claim that such a helmet would provide some protection from
Dropbear attack, however it remains very unlikely that the helmet was ever
designed with this purpose in mind.

Vegemite

I have heard it claimed that Vegemite (a black foodstuff, high in vitamin B,
manufactured as a joke to play on tourists) is a good Dropbear repellent when
applied to the face and neck. I find this very difficult to believe, but cannot
in truth disprove it. The fact is that the only true Dropbear repellent is
Aeroguard. It is 100% effective, and not a single confirmed dropbear killing has
been recorded against a person protected with Aeroguard (not to mention the fact
that smearing Vegemite over your body is far less pleasant than a few sprays of
Aeroguard). Due to political pressure
Aeroguard is marketed as an insect repellent (a task it also performs rather well).
We all have our strange marketing laws, and just as in the USA it is illegal to
advertise the health benefits of a non-drug product, in Oz it is illegal to market
protection products against "Creatures of plausible deniability". Go figure.

The AquaBear

The existance of several species of the Terrestrial Australian Dropbear are well
known. However, some reports circulate of a recently evolved genus, the "Aquatic
Dropbear". Australia loses a large number of citizens and visitors in our waters,
which are well populated with crocodiles, blue-ringed octopi, deadly stonefish,
sea snakes, box jellyfish and of course, many species of shark. Not to mention
dangerous surf conditions, rip-tides and poorly managed dive trips.

Personally, I do find it difficult to believe that a tree-dwelling mammal
could rapidly evolve to the point where it can enter an aquatic environment as
a formidable predator.

If there is such a creature, it is much more likely that it is in fact the
ancient ancestor of our terrestrial friend we know as the dropbear. Most
evolutionary scales hold to the theory that life came from the oceans, with
creatures evolving to allow them to function on land, certainly not the other
way around. While I personally am not convinced of the existence of an
aquatic dropbear, I cannot discount it. I will however point out that the
evolutionary process is almost certainly the reverse of what some have
claimed.

The Claws

Many texts dealing with dropbear attacks describe the claws as "great talons
of amazing strength and size, usually several inches long, are used to tear
the flesh from hapless victims".

The claws are NOT used to tear flesh per se. During the
early days of colonisation in Australia (where we spell colonisation with an "s"),
medical examinations of victims revealed that it is more of a strike, rip action. The claws
of the dropbear are indeed long and strong, but they do not have a sharp edge
along their length. An evolutionary viewpoint on this may suggest that the
claws are smooth along their length in order to avoid scraping on branches while
moving through the cover of the forest canopy. Any excess noise, or falling bark
from sharp, scratching claws would likely alert any prey on the forest floor to
the danger that awaits them from above. Considering that Dropbears will often
hunt as a group, this is a reasonable theory - you could imagine the noise
created by a pride of 30 dropbears preparing to strike if they had claws that
scraped on the branches they crouched upon. Only the tips of their claws are
sharp. The dropbear attacks by driving it's claws deep into the neck of a victim,
then using a sideways tearing motion as the slightly curved claw is withdrawn.
This method usually results in the veins and arteries of the neck being stretched
and torn as opposed to sliced, as some texts may suggest.

The shaping of the Dropbear claw has had an interesting effect on Australian
architecture, of all things. If you are a visitor to Oz, no doubt you will have
noticed the great attraction we seem to have toward a product known as
"corrugated iron". This is a steel sheeting, rolled during manufacture to
present an undulating surface. It has been in use since the early days of
settlement here, the primary reson for which is that it is difficult for
dropbear's to penetrate. It is often said that a dropbear's claws can easily
tear into a piece of sheetmetal several millimeters thick. However, a dropbear
can only do this by first driving the claw into the metal, and
then tearing a rift after puncturing it. The continually curving surface of
corrugated iron makes it difficult for the claw to initially penetrate the
metal (it's like trying to stab a pea with a fork), which is why it has become
such a popular building material. Indeed, in
areas of high dropbear density (such as national parks, and outback cattle
stations), almost all buildings are entirely sheeted with corrugated iron in order
to provide protection (or at least, some time) in the event of a dropbear attack.

Conclusion

I hope that this short work has given you some insight into the dropbear
itself, as well as the types of myths and tales perpetuated on the 'net.
It's important to verify your sources to ensure that you receive an accurate picture - Never beleive everything you read on the 'net.